I tried to find a word to describe the last two days and can't come up with one. Frightening doesn't seem strong enough a word!
Monday I got my glucose challenge results back and found out I have gestational diabetes. My mom had been awaiting that news so I sent her a text. She didn't respond but it's not uncommon for her to take awhile to reply. I went to my doctor's appointment shortly after that and when I came out three hours later I still hadn't heard from her - it had now been 5 hours. I began calling her cell and the house and got no answer. I waited a few minutes and tried again and then again and then again. My brother John called and said he hadn't heard from her either and we both started to feel a bit uneasy. He called Jamie and he tried to reach her to no avail. I think at that point in my gut I knew something wasn't right. John left then to check on her.
He arrived to find the blinds pulled and truck in the garage. You can imagine his fear at that moment. How he made it through the next few moments is beyond me. He found mom in bed and began calling her name and got to response at all. He yelled at her and still nothing. I can't even let my mind go where his must have gone at that moment. After more yelling she responded. She was burning up with fever and incoherent and he couldn't keep her awake. She didn't know her name or who John was. They got her to the hospital by squad and I was astonished by what I saw when they let me go back. She was lifeless. I too had to yell at her several times to get her to open her eyes. She didn't know me either. As the night went on it appeared she began to recognize us, especially Adam, but couldn't tell us our names or who we were. She didn't even know I was pregnant and she had a grandson on the way.
There was a tremendous blessing in the middle of all of this. You may recall my dad's doctor, Dr. Chambers. Truly the most amazing doctor there is. He was first mom's pulmonary doctor and then started seeing dad. I asked the nurse to see if he was in the hospital. They called his pager and he called back and was there. He asked to talk to me right away and I filled him in. In ten minutes or less he was there with mom. He worked with the ER doctor and admitted her himself and has been caring for her since. He was working through the night so was able to check on mom often. I think we all breathed a huge sigh of relief to know he was taking care of her. And the funny thing is she knew him! He was the only person she called by name that night.
They ran test after test after test and all came back normal. She was severely dehydrated so they loaded her with fluids and gave her tylenol for the fever and started an antibiotic. Her fever came down but she showed very little improvement. It wasn't until Tuesday morning she was able to talk to Jamie (he stayed the night with her) and knew who he was. Once John arrived Tuesday morning I had him put mom on the phone so I could hear for myself. I held it together with no problem on Monday but when she got on the phone and talked to me it took every shred of strength I had not to crumble. I was so thankful to have my mom back.
As a family we started trying to put the pieces together. We had all been in contact with her on Sunday. Jamie last spoke to her at 10pm Sunday night and she was fine. A neighbor said she saw her wandering in her yard sometime that night in her pajamas - without the dog. She was dressed when John found her so at some point she got dressed. Unfortunately mom remembers only very small bits and pieces from Sunday night through Tuesday morning so our puzzle is still missing most of the pieces. I'm not sure we'll ever know exactly what happened or what caused it. She may get to go home today but will be coming to our house to start with. We all expected a fight but I didn't get one. I told my brother that must be an indication of how bad she felt and how scary all of this has been for her too. John has threatened to microchip her and Darlene says she's moving in with Jamie. LOL I doubt she'll go for either of those but I do think we will have a more defined system to keep tabs on her!
Thank you to our family and friends for keeping her covered in prayer.
Have a blessed rest of your week!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Updates!
It's been a stormy start to the summer in Ohio and our modem was one of the casualties. We are back online this morning and I have updates!
First the bad news ... things did not work out with my house and we will be working with a realtor to rent it.
Now the good news ... baby Handy is looking healthy! We had a wonderful ultrasound on Friday. The tech was encouraged at how healthy he looks and saw no signs of CF. We are so thankful! We won't know for sure until he's born and they do a blood test but it's a start. And he is one BIG boy! Last week he should have been about 2-1/2 lbs and they estimate he is already over 4 lbs. I am awaiting a call from my OB this morning with the results from my second glucose challenge (I failed the first one) which we, and my high risk doctor, expect to indicate gestational diabetes. The size of our little boy coupled with my first failed glucose challenge lend itself well to that possibility. This post wouldn't be complete without sharing a picture of his positively adorable chubby cheeks! (And as usual, he has a hand over part of his face.)
Father's Day has come and gone and for the first time in my life I was relieved it was over. Not being a man/father, Father's Day has always just been about my dad. It was a tough day. I planned to visit the cemetery but wanted yesterday to be something more than just feeling sad. I prayed yesterday morning and asked God to help me figure out what I could do for Father's Day each year that would make it special and surround me with something that reminds me of my dad. And it came to me. I spent my afternoon at the Air Force Museum, one of my dad's favorite places to visit. And I took time to actually read the signs this time, as he always did. OK, so I didn't read every word like he did, but I read a lot more than I usually do! I like to think of it as time spent with my dad in a place he loved, and as I look back on yesterday, it was without a doubt the most at peace I felt all day. I hope to make this a tradition I can share with Steve and our son each year. I have to say a special thank you to my husband and his family for just letting me cope how I needed to yesterday. And another special thank you to my friends and my big brother, Jamie, for thinking of me and checking on me yesterday.
Baby Handy's very first USAF t-shirt.
What post about the museum would be complete without a photo of a plane ...
The Mustang
Thank you for the prayers.
Have a blessed week!
First the bad news ... things did not work out with my house and we will be working with a realtor to rent it.
Now the good news ... baby Handy is looking healthy! We had a wonderful ultrasound on Friday. The tech was encouraged at how healthy he looks and saw no signs of CF. We are so thankful! We won't know for sure until he's born and they do a blood test but it's a start. And he is one BIG boy! Last week he should have been about 2-1/2 lbs and they estimate he is already over 4 lbs. I am awaiting a call from my OB this morning with the results from my second glucose challenge (I failed the first one) which we, and my high risk doctor, expect to indicate gestational diabetes. The size of our little boy coupled with my first failed glucose challenge lend itself well to that possibility. This post wouldn't be complete without sharing a picture of his positively adorable chubby cheeks! (And as usual, he has a hand over part of his face.)
Father's Day has come and gone and for the first time in my life I was relieved it was over. Not being a man/father, Father's Day has always just been about my dad. It was a tough day. I planned to visit the cemetery but wanted yesterday to be something more than just feeling sad. I prayed yesterday morning and asked God to help me figure out what I could do for Father's Day each year that would make it special and surround me with something that reminds me of my dad. And it came to me. I spent my afternoon at the Air Force Museum, one of my dad's favorite places to visit. And I took time to actually read the signs this time, as he always did. OK, so I didn't read every word like he did, but I read a lot more than I usually do! I like to think of it as time spent with my dad in a place he loved, and as I look back on yesterday, it was without a doubt the most at peace I felt all day. I hope to make this a tradition I can share with Steve and our son each year. I have to say a special thank you to my husband and his family for just letting me cope how I needed to yesterday. And another special thank you to my friends and my big brother, Jamie, for thinking of me and checking on me yesterday.
Baby Handy's very first USAF t-shirt.
What post about the museum would be complete without a photo of a plane ...
The Mustang
Thank you for the prayers.
Have a blessed week!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Big Week Ahead
We have a big week ahead of us ...
We will be showing my house twice this coming week. The first showing has been a long awaited one, for both parties. The mom of a neighbor is going through a challenging time in her life and relocating to Ohio from Florida (that alone is a challenge - LOL!!). For many years she has admired the cute little house on the corner and has asked regularly over the last year if it's still for sale. She is in town visiting right now and will be coming to see it. Her daughter and family lived just down the street when I moved in almost 12 years ago. Their son and his wife now live next door to them. I know they would love to have her just down the street. And I would love to leave my home to her care. Her circumstance is unfortunate so please pray for God's will for her and the best possible outcome for her future, whether it be on Farnham Avenue or not! We have another young woman who is interested and whose Grandma lives just up the road as well.
We have an even bigger event on Friday as we have our next, and hopefully final, ultrasound. They will be checking again for signs of cystic fibrosis in our little guy. Please pray with us that the ultrasound shows a healthy and developing little boy. If things look good on this ultrasound we don't anticipate they will do another. I am excited to see him but anxious as we check again for CF. We have an appointment at Children's next week with their genetic counselor to find a pediatrician that is trained and experienced with CF as we won't know for sure until about a week after his birth whether he has CF or not. We are opting to be prepared and praying we won't need that particular part of his expertise. We covet your prayers for our little boy.
I have been busy working on preparing the house and our furry babies for our new arrival. This week mom and I will dive into the nursery and start it's transformation. I'm including a photo (courtesy of Lisa) which is the inspiration for his room ... turtles, turtles, turtles! I love sea turtles. :)
12 weeks to go!
Have a blessed week ahead!
We will be showing my house twice this coming week. The first showing has been a long awaited one, for both parties. The mom of a neighbor is going through a challenging time in her life and relocating to Ohio from Florida (that alone is a challenge - LOL!!). For many years she has admired the cute little house on the corner and has asked regularly over the last year if it's still for sale. She is in town visiting right now and will be coming to see it. Her daughter and family lived just down the street when I moved in almost 12 years ago. Their son and his wife now live next door to them. I know they would love to have her just down the street. And I would love to leave my home to her care. Her circumstance is unfortunate so please pray for God's will for her and the best possible outcome for her future, whether it be on Farnham Avenue or not! We have another young woman who is interested and whose Grandma lives just up the road as well.
We have an even bigger event on Friday as we have our next, and hopefully final, ultrasound. They will be checking again for signs of cystic fibrosis in our little guy. Please pray with us that the ultrasound shows a healthy and developing little boy. If things look good on this ultrasound we don't anticipate they will do another. I am excited to see him but anxious as we check again for CF. We have an appointment at Children's next week with their genetic counselor to find a pediatrician that is trained and experienced with CF as we won't know for sure until about a week after his birth whether he has CF or not. We are opting to be prepared and praying we won't need that particular part of his expertise. We covet your prayers for our little boy.
I have been busy working on preparing the house and our furry babies for our new arrival. This week mom and I will dive into the nursery and start it's transformation. I'm including a photo (courtesy of Lisa) which is the inspiration for his room ... turtles, turtles, turtles! I love sea turtles. :)
12 weeks to go!
Have a blessed week ahead!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
I did it!
Saturday afternoon mom and Steve and I attended the opening ceremony for the 2010 Relay for Life in Springboro. The survivor lap, for me, was the hardest. My dad is still a survivor to me, he's still my hero. I missed being able to watch him proudly take that lap this year but what a blessing to see so many, young and old, still fighting the fight and winning the battle. Steve and I went back later that night and walked again and again this morning. Last year we had horrible storms and tornado sirens blaring. This year we had beautiful weather and a wonderful turnout. Relay for Life set a goal of $50,000 and exceeded their goal at $52,000. Thank you all so much for your support!
I reminded myself this weekend more than once my dad never had the option to go back to bed and not have cancer, he didn't get to take a break, or just go home. He had to fight his fight 24/7. There were moments this weekend I wasn't sure I could take another step but my dad was my inspiration, and my strength. I needed to take my stand against cancer, and all it has taken from me, and I bring this weekend to a close feeling a little less helpless than I did when it started. As I walked my last lap this morning I said outloud, "I did it dad. We did it".
As most of you know, Emily's Beads of Courage sponsors a Dragon's game each year for the children in treatment at Children's in Dayton. Dinner is provided and the families get to attend the game afterwards. That too took place this weekend. Steve said he heard so many parents say how nice it was to have a night where they just felt like a normal family. That's what we hope for and what we are so thankful to be able to give them. I met some of the most amazing children and young adults this weekend. I had the opportunity to spend more time with a few of them than I usually do. It was also a night to honor our military families at the Dragon's game. At the start of the game they unrolled a HUGE American Flag on the field for the National Anthem. Steve and I (Beau and Karolyn too) were blessed to be able to take a group of the children from our group to be a part of that. I was especially blessed to spend much of the evening with Nathan and his big brother Jacob and two beautiful young girls, Bailey Jo and Mabeline. I wish I could share them with you, I wish you could meet them, you would be forever changed by their courage and strength and the love that pours from their hearts.
This is a picture of our family and friends that help make this event happen each year. And a picture of Emily's luminary. It's her courage and that of so many children facing cancer that we honor each year.
Thank you all so much for the prayers, encouragement, love, and support. It means more than you know.
Blessings!
Here a few more relay pictures. The survivors are in purple. Isn't it a beautiful color?
I reminded myself this weekend more than once my dad never had the option to go back to bed and not have cancer, he didn't get to take a break, or just go home. He had to fight his fight 24/7. There were moments this weekend I wasn't sure I could take another step but my dad was my inspiration, and my strength. I needed to take my stand against cancer, and all it has taken from me, and I bring this weekend to a close feeling a little less helpless than I did when it started. As I walked my last lap this morning I said outloud, "I did it dad. We did it".
As most of you know, Emily's Beads of Courage sponsors a Dragon's game each year for the children in treatment at Children's in Dayton. Dinner is provided and the families get to attend the game afterwards. That too took place this weekend. Steve said he heard so many parents say how nice it was to have a night where they just felt like a normal family. That's what we hope for and what we are so thankful to be able to give them. I met some of the most amazing children and young adults this weekend. I had the opportunity to spend more time with a few of them than I usually do. It was also a night to honor our military families at the Dragon's game. At the start of the game they unrolled a HUGE American Flag on the field for the National Anthem. Steve and I (Beau and Karolyn too) were blessed to be able to take a group of the children from our group to be a part of that. I was especially blessed to spend much of the evening with Nathan and his big brother Jacob and two beautiful young girls, Bailey Jo and Mabeline. I wish I could share them with you, I wish you could meet them, you would be forever changed by their courage and strength and the love that pours from their hearts.
This is a picture of our family and friends that help make this event happen each year. And a picture of Emily's luminary. It's her courage and that of so many children facing cancer that we honor each year.
Thank you all so much for the prayers, encouragement, love, and support. It means more than you know.
Blessings!
Here a few more relay pictures. The survivors are in purple. Isn't it a beautiful color?
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Remembering Dad Across the Country
I thought I would share some photos of dad being remembered across the country ...
My dear friends and my beautiful godchildren, Zachary, Haley, & Emily, remembering 'Grandpa' at Relay for Life in GEORGIA.
Dad's cousin Jackie and her family at Relay for Life in ARIZONA.
I'll have photos of the OHIO Relay for Life soon!
Blessings!
My dear friends and my beautiful godchildren, Zachary, Haley, & Emily, remembering 'Grandpa' at Relay for Life in GEORGIA.
Dad's cousin Jackie and her family at Relay for Life in ARIZONA.
I'll have photos of the OHIO Relay for Life soon!
Blessings!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Long time, no blog!
Wow, it's been awhile since I've blogged! Dad has been gone just over a month. What has the last month been like you may wonder and many have asked me. To be honest, I live mostly under an illusion that he's away on a really long fishing trip without cell service. Mornings, however, are my time each day when the illusion disappears.
Before dad's last hospital stay we started emailing each other. He was on high doses of steroids and didn't sleep much so I often woke up to an email from him. I always replied and sometimes he was still online and we exchanged more than one while I was getting ready for work. When he went into the hospital we started talking on my way to work. Once I got through the construction I'd call him and we chatted until I was at work. I got used to those phone calls. When he went home that one overnight I didn't call on my way to work since he was home and resting. I told him later how lonely my drive was without him. My drive each day is lonely and I can't find the words to say how I miss hearing "Love you" from him at the start of my day.
There are moments when losing dad is so very real. Mostly it's not though, it's sort of like an out of life experience (similar to an out of body experience I suppose). I can't wrap my head around it most times, I'm watching it happen but it can't be happening to me, it can't be my life. It seeps in slowly and in small chunks. What a blessing that is. The moments when it hits me full force are unbearable. Sometimes I want to scream and lay down and throw a good old fashioned temper tantrum, but it takes so much strength to hold it together that I have nothing left in me to fall apart. Does that make sense?
We picked out dad's marker. Mom decided on a beautiful bench. I will be sure to post a photo when it's completed.
Day to day our lives go on and we are living and we'll be OK. Mom asked me in dad's last days how she was going to live without him. I told her she'd get up every day and breathe. And so we do.
The relay is next weekend. I continue to give it much thought. Today I tried to think of how many years I've walked in Relay for Life. My best guess is 7-8 years. And I realized that I haven't walked even one without my dad. He embraced Relay for Life long before it was his own personal fight. There is a part of me that needs to Relay this time, to embrace this in a whole new way. After giving it much thought I found it's my way to stand up and fight, to get back on my feet, to live through this. I suppose each of my family will find their own way to find peace in what we've gone through. The Relay is mine. I am tired of feeling so helpless.
I've received many messages of support, prayer, and encouragement. Thank you to my friends, co-workers, and Arizona family for knowing how important this relay is to me and for supporting me. It means more to me than you know.
If you'd like to read more about the relay, my page is: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY10OH?px=3490023&pg=personal&fr_id=23648 .
Next weekend is also our annual Dragon's game for the children in treatment for cancer at Children's Medical Center in Dayton. The night is sponsored by Emily's Beads of Courage and gives the children and their families a night out. And it gives our family a way to honor Emily and to honor the courage these children show daily. It will be difficult without our ticket man this year but it is always a joy to watch the children and their families enjoying the event. What a wonderful weekend to Relay. I'm not sure I could think of a better time to be honest. Their faces, their courage, will be fresh in my mind and my prayers as I walk and fight for a cure for this horrible disease that has touched their precious young lives.
My sweet little boy has been kicking all evening and reminding me how much I have to be thankful for and how much I have to look forward to. I look forward to seeing the lower half of my body again for sure! LOL I will have to update my belly picture soon, it's grown! Our next ultrasound is June 18th. I am looking forward to getting another peek at our little boy. And cousin Casey and Grammy and Pa Handy will be getting a peek too!
God is good and daily He sustains us and provides for us.
We continue to appreciate your prayers and support.
Blessings to you all!
Before dad's last hospital stay we started emailing each other. He was on high doses of steroids and didn't sleep much so I often woke up to an email from him. I always replied and sometimes he was still online and we exchanged more than one while I was getting ready for work. When he went into the hospital we started talking on my way to work. Once I got through the construction I'd call him and we chatted until I was at work. I got used to those phone calls. When he went home that one overnight I didn't call on my way to work since he was home and resting. I told him later how lonely my drive was without him. My drive each day is lonely and I can't find the words to say how I miss hearing "Love you" from him at the start of my day.
There are moments when losing dad is so very real. Mostly it's not though, it's sort of like an out of life experience (similar to an out of body experience I suppose). I can't wrap my head around it most times, I'm watching it happen but it can't be happening to me, it can't be my life. It seeps in slowly and in small chunks. What a blessing that is. The moments when it hits me full force are unbearable. Sometimes I want to scream and lay down and throw a good old fashioned temper tantrum, but it takes so much strength to hold it together that I have nothing left in me to fall apart. Does that make sense?
We picked out dad's marker. Mom decided on a beautiful bench. I will be sure to post a photo when it's completed.
Day to day our lives go on and we are living and we'll be OK. Mom asked me in dad's last days how she was going to live without him. I told her she'd get up every day and breathe. And so we do.
The relay is next weekend. I continue to give it much thought. Today I tried to think of how many years I've walked in Relay for Life. My best guess is 7-8 years. And I realized that I haven't walked even one without my dad. He embraced Relay for Life long before it was his own personal fight. There is a part of me that needs to Relay this time, to embrace this in a whole new way. After giving it much thought I found it's my way to stand up and fight, to get back on my feet, to live through this. I suppose each of my family will find their own way to find peace in what we've gone through. The Relay is mine. I am tired of feeling so helpless.
I've received many messages of support, prayer, and encouragement. Thank you to my friends, co-workers, and Arizona family for knowing how important this relay is to me and for supporting me. It means more to me than you know.
If you'd like to read more about the relay, my page is: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY10OH?px=3490023&pg=personal&fr_id=23648 .
Next weekend is also our annual Dragon's game for the children in treatment for cancer at Children's Medical Center in Dayton. The night is sponsored by Emily's Beads of Courage and gives the children and their families a night out. And it gives our family a way to honor Emily and to honor the courage these children show daily. It will be difficult without our ticket man this year but it is always a joy to watch the children and their families enjoying the event. What a wonderful weekend to Relay. I'm not sure I could think of a better time to be honest. Their faces, their courage, will be fresh in my mind and my prayers as I walk and fight for a cure for this horrible disease that has touched their precious young lives.
My sweet little boy has been kicking all evening and reminding me how much I have to be thankful for and how much I have to look forward to. I look forward to seeing the lower half of my body again for sure! LOL I will have to update my belly picture soon, it's grown! Our next ultrasound is June 18th. I am looking forward to getting another peek at our little boy. And cousin Casey and Grammy and Pa Handy will be getting a peek too!
God is good and daily He sustains us and provides for us.
We continue to appreciate your prayers and support.
Blessings to you all!
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