Getting to Know Will

I thought you all might enjoy some facts about Will.

Eating:

• He eats ALL the time! When I've pumped and left a bottle for him he amazes people at how much he eats. We could be in real trouble when he's a teenager!
• Something I read listed the types of eater your baby is.  The first one said 'baracuda' and I knew without reading any farther this was my son.  Breastfeeding may be a real challenge once he has teeth!
• He is very impatient when he's trying to latch on and violently shakes his head side to side trying to get a hold. I call this his 'mad Stevie Wonder'.
• I love to play with his hands and feet when he eats.  His toes are really long and he loves to wrap them around my finger.
• He HATES to burp and will cry and scream the whole time you try. And he's not an easy one to burp either!
• What goes in must come out but it stays in him for days at a time. We spent days and days worrying about his poop. He's pretty regular now - every other day - and you can imagine the blow-outs that brings. It's a 2 man clean-up job!!

Sleeping:

• He has slept through the night several nights, one night he slept 9 hours!  No, we didn't wake up scared ... we woke up on and off all night to check on him. :)
• He often sleeps with his arms straight above his head. He hates to have them swaddled and likes to have them by his face.
• He loves to fall asleep on my chest.  When he's done eating he stretches and then lays his two arms beneath his head and sleeps with it resting on them.  I could just eat him up he's so precious! (I took a nap the other day and stretched when I woke up and realized he stretches the same way I do!)
• He sleeps best with the kitchen faucet on high or the vacuum running.  I did seriously consider moving his bed and mine to the kitchen - after Steve refused to put a faucet in our bedroom for him.
• He sleeps best in his car seat - as long as you don't strap him in! (see misc stuff below)

Temperament:

• He is the absolute most impatient baby I've ever seen - seriously!
• He is easily frustrated and lets you know it. His lungs appear to be quite healthy.
• He's a pretty fussy baby but with each day has more and more happier moments. His smile just makes me melt.
• Sometimes when he cries he makes this sound that Festus makes when he's mad and getting ready to bite me. It almost sounds like he's going to spit at you. I call it his cat sound!

Clothing:

• He outgrew his newborn shoes before he even came home.
• He outgrew his newborn clothes in a matter of days.
• He doesn't like hats or socks.
• He prefers outfits that DON'T go over his head - no matter how quick I've gotten at putting them on.

Other misc stuff:

• He hates tummy time. Boy does he cry!
• He does not like to ride in the car and cries anytime you put him in it. (the reason he's happy in his car seat as long as he's not strapped in!)
• He LOVES ceiling fans!
• He kicks his legs a lot and his arms are always moving. He has many times punched daddy right in the jaw!
• Bath-time is one of his least favorite times.
• He is a very hot baby and the best little heater on these cold mornings.
• He loves to be swayed side to side.  No other motion calms him like this does and he could be swayed 24/7. I say its because I never sat still when I was pregnant with him, he has to be moving.
• He is a seriously gassy baby and can smoke us all out of a room like you wouldn't believe!
• He loves to be outside.
• He's the best little snuggler there is.
• I call him my little monkey.

The dogs:

• They have to check on Will anytime he's left the house or someone else has held him.
• They love to kiss his toes and the top of his head.
• They don't even seem to notice his crying.
• They can't wait for him to be big enough to play!

Top 5 ways he reminds me of my dad:

1. He looks like him more and more every day.
2. He has the 'Taylor' temper.
3. He has long toes.
4. He hates riding in the back seat of the car.
5. He has more hair in the back than on top. :)

I've heard Steve call Will 'punkin' quite a few times.  That was what my dad called me.  It makes me smile when I hear it.

And of course the most important fact about Will ... he's positively adorable!

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Will took his first trip to Hidden Valley Fruit Farm today!  While we were there we had pumpkin donuts and an apple cider slush.  We came home with pumpkins, cookie bars, pumpkin fudge, apples, and a fry pie for daddy. Yummy!

Picking out pumpkins

Sleeping on the way home

Our pumpkins

William Wayne Handy

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Where Has the Time Gone?

Can my little boy really be 5 weeks old today? I'd ask where the time has gone but I am pretty sure it's been lost in the whirlwind we now call life!

How am I? I think I'm a typical exhausted and overwhelmed mom of a newborn. Which is why I'm just updating my blog and pictures!

William was born on August 31st. I have a list of my favorite drugs (steriods, zofran) and I now have a list of the most evil drugs known to man and pitocin tops my list. And an epidural now makes my favorite list! A drug-free delivery with pitocin must be simply unheard of! It was tough but worth every second for my sweet William. I was blessed to be surrounded by family and friends as my little boy came into the world. And to have MY doctor and not someone on call. He and Lisa bantering back and forth while I pushed provided a bit of comic relief that I certainly needed! There's no one quite like Dr. Little as Lisa will attest to. I still chuckle when I recall one particular moment during delivery. I was pretty out of breath so I only said what I had to. I looked at Dr. Little and said, "push" and he grinned and said, "YOU push". If only I had been able to laugh! My recovery has gone very well and I feel wonderful physically. The dogs adore Will and have done so well with his addition to our family.

I return to work on the 14th - much too soon but later than I had planned. Mom was supposed to take care of Will and so when we realized that wouldn't happen I was struck with a degree of panic. God thankfully led Matt and Lisa to stay here (and not move out of state) and she will be taking care of my baby boy. I couldn't ask for better hands to leave him in and will do so with complete peace in my heart. He already loves his Aunt Lisa!

William's first CF test was negative. We were on pins and needles for days waiting on the results - which of course took longer than usual.  When the call came I think I stopped breathing all together while I waited on the results.  After I hung up I sat and cried for the longest time.  I am not sure I have ever felt so thankful.  He will have a sweat test at 2 months of age to confirm it but the blood test is a good indication.  God is good!

The weekend before last William met his Uncle Wayne.  Steve and his dad are both named after Uncle Wayne so this was a special visit for our William Wayne!  He also met his cousin Nat this past weekend.  Nat was great with Will and the smile on Nat's face just warmed my heart. Now we're counting the days until he can meet Adam! I am sure he'll love him as much as Casey and Nat do.

My mom ... where do I begin? We were left with many unanswered questions after her last two episodes. Shortly after Will was born our questions were answered. Mom called shortly before we were scheduled to be released from the hospital with Will. Steve knew right away something was wrong and our two families sprung into action to get to her. As we were released she was being admitted. This time tests showed a stroke and in the days to come another would follow and as it unfolded the doctors determined the episodes earlier this summer were also strokes. Much like the last two times mom went through a time where she didn't know us and hallucinated. She always knew who William was but he was her only constant. (And she always knew Obama was President. William and Obama - that has to go in his baby book!) I was home caring for him and it was quite some time before mom was well enough to even talk to me on the phone. When I finally saw her she knew me about half the time I was with her. I was devastated to be without my mom in my son's first days, not even able to tell her about him and share those moments. In time mom began to know us and I have been able to talk to her by phone. She's been able to see William only a handful of times as he's not able to be in hospitals or nursing homes. It's been hard for mom to be away from Will and not be able to truly enjoy him. We hope in a few weeks she will be out of rehab and living around the corner from us.

I've had a host of emotions in the last few weeks (you can imagine how hormonal changes impacted that!). Although I have an amazing husband and in-laws I have felt very alone and lost. It's amazing how being without your parents affects you and how utterly heartbreaking it is. It's been difficult without my dad and mom was in such a state that I too was without her. I can't put into words all that has come with that at this time in my life. I miss my parents and my heart aches for them both. My mom is slowly coming back to us and I am so thankful to be able to talk to her and see her now and hope soon things will be more typical (I hesitate to say normal - what is normal anyway?).

Yesterday was Oct. 4th, the anniversary of my first date with Steve. We thawed the rest of our wedding cake this week. What perfect timing! And what awesome cake. :)

Today is October 5th, my dad's birthday. Tonight we are going to Frisches and coming home to have angel food cake, pudding and milk. My dad would put all three of those together in a bowl while I watched and gagged. When he was in the hospital his bowl was too small to mix it and he ate a bite of each and chased it with milk. That's more my speed!

Later this week is the anniversary of the day God took our little angel home to Heaven. I have always believed our angel was also a son. I remember that day vividly and often think of him.

I think back to this week a year ago. Our family went to Spaghetti Warehouse for dad's birthday. He looked and felt wonderful. Jamie commented on how pregnant I was looking and I shared ultrasound pictures of the baby. I had no idea what the days ahead would hold. I look at my precious baby boy and know he is with us as a result of a piece of those days. I talk to him about his big brother and his grandpa and know together they are watching over him and are a part of the person God has made him to be. In one of my last posts I said I prayed to look into my son's eyes and see my dad. God answered that prayer. On our first day home from the hospital my mom-in-law gave me the most precious gift of all, she looked at me and told me that William looks like my dad. And he does. Each day I look at him and see my dad and know what a gift that is.

It's been another time in our lives where the joy and sadness are hard to separate but life is good and we are blessed with a beautiful baby boy. He is my miracle and what keeps me going. Every second with him is a joy and a blessing.

Thank you all for your many prayers and love.

Blessings!

William

William Wayne Handy

8/31/10 @ 1:58pm

8lb 7oz

21 1/2"

The Big Day is Here!

Well, it's almost time! We are to arrive at the hospital tonight at 9pm to start the induction. We hope to have an announcement to make by sometime tomorrow! Please pray our little boy is healthy.

Blessing to you all!

Final Thoughts ...

I imagine if I asked all the mom's out there what their final thoughts were before the baby arrived I would get a variety of responses. And I've had a variety of thoughts. In part I am trying to prepare myself for the physical challenge ahead but also the mental and emotional one. I am so excited to see my son and hold him. It feels like I've dreamed and waited my entire life for this moment and I suppose in some ways I have. And in other ways the last 9 months seem a lifetime long. Today my thoughts were of my dad and his last moments with my son before his earthly debut. I can see my dad holding my son and savoring those last moments in his arms before he is in mine. I won't have the opportunity to see in person the love and joy in his eyes but in my mind I am able to see it clearly and it gives me peace.

A friend of mine recently shared this in his thought for the day:

"You knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13, NIV “Knitted together” is how the psalmist described the process of God making man. Not manufactured or mass-produced, but knitted. Each thread of personality tenderly intertwined. Each string of temperament deliberately selected . . .The Creator, the master weaver, threading together the soul. Each one different. No two alike. None identical.
Lucado

When I think that my dad was there with my Heavenly Father as my son's soul was threaded together I am deeply moved. I look forward to seeing little strands of my dad in him with each passing day and pray for a glimpse of him in my son's eyes from the moment they meet mine.

Finally, I have belly pictures to share! I'm not sure Steve is done editing but I thought I would share anyway. And all I ask is that you be kind when you tell me just how enormous my belly is. :)

God bless!

My Miracle

I still remember waking up on Christmas Day feeling sick at my stomach and just icky. I had taken probably 3 or 4 pregnancy tests in the weeks before that hoping to see the magical word, "pregnant" but each time it said "not pregnant". I took one on Christmas Eve hoping to be able to give my husband that gift for Christmas. Instead he got some other gifts he liked and was happy to have them.

The next day I still felt pretty rotten and again the next day and by that time I was starting to recognize that feeling in my stomach. We had a snow storm on the way and not a pregnancy test in the house. My wonderful husband took me out on some really nasty roads that night to buy a pregnancy test. I came home and took it and finally it said,"pregnant" and in record time! Having suffered the loss of our first baby I am not sure what I felt first, excitement or fear. I do remember getting on my knees to pray for him. I walked out to the couch silently and just held it up for Steve to see. I'm not sure which feeling he had first that night either. I know we both felt such a deep fear of what was to come and fought the urge to be too excited too soon.

The weeks that followed brought several scares for us. One of the hardest was spotting at the same time we lost our first baby. One of the other hardest was my birthday, another very long and frightening day until we saw his little heart beating on the ultrasound. That was the beginning of a long line of ultrasounds and doctor appointments. I don't even remember now when the spotting stopped but I remember making it through the first trimester and with each passing milestone taking a small breath in and exhaling just as small a breath. My doctor told me the only way I would ever really not be so scared was to have this little boy and I have found that although the fear has changed with each milestone, he is right and until he is in my arms there is always a little fear there.

In the months that followed that snowy night in December we lost our sweet Brandy girl, our yellow labrador, my Aunt Marian, and my dad - so much sooner than anyone ever anticipated we would. We found out Steve and I both are carriers for Cystic Fibrosis, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, exposed to H1N1 and MRSA twice, and have been through two serious and frightening illnesses with mom.

This post wouldn't be complete without sharing more about our Cystic Fibrosis testing. This will be our only natural child now that we know we are both carriers. Although there is only a 25% chance our son will have it, it's not a chance we can knowingly take again. They did our testing at 10 weeks. We lost our first baby a week before that testing would have taken place so we had no idea. If that test had taken place just a week later, our son wouldn't be on the way right now.

I sit here today and we are coming up on week 38 and our son is now considered full term. We've had ultrasound after ultrasound and there are no signs of CF visible on them. This isn't full-proof so we have a plan in place if he tests positive for CF. He will be tested at birth and again at one month old to be sure. My little boy has survived more in the womb than some adults do in their whole lives. It's hard to believe sometimes all that we have been through during my pregnancy and I marvel at how well he has continued to grow and develop despite the stress and heartache going on all around him. He truly is my miracle from God.

The time is fast approaching to meet my little miracle. If he doesn't come on his own (we are hoping he will!) they will likely induce on August 31st. We have an ultrasound on the 30th to check his weight and we will make decisions then regarding induction and whether or not I can deliver him naturally at his weight.

My son has been blanketed in prayer by so many since he was created. Someday I will share with him how loved he was even before he was born. My heart overflows with gratitude and praise. I hope soon to be able to share him with you!

I finally let Steve take some belly pictures of me today. Once they are touched up and cropped I will share what a wonderful photographer he is with you.

Blessings.